So once upon a time...
When I was a teenager in high school we were required to take a PE class - 'Physical Education' is the proper term for what we called gym class. Gym class was divided into something like a half semester or quarter of something on a field, wood floor gymnasium, or other dry land activity and then a quarter of something else like swimming none of which I was ever any good at (I actually flunked a semester of gym class and had to have 2 classes per day the following year). High school was not a terribly pleasant time for me and had it's moments both good and bad. This story is about a situation that was both.
It was in swim class...
Our school had a really nice facility for athletic activities including a very nice swimming pool with both a high diving board and a low diving board. The low board was a few feet off the ground while the high dive was something like 17 feet off the ground. 17 feet doesn't look like much from the bottom up but there's a significant change of perspective looking from the top down. This difference of perspective was soon going to be very apparent to me.
Often after the instructive portion of the class we would be allowed to do as we pleased. One day in the pool in the last 15 minutes we were given time for free swim which was usually kind of fun. I had watched other kids jumping or diving from the diving boards with the high dive appearing to have a bit of a thrill to it and I wanted to give it a try. Unfortunately I've never been too good at thinking things through before diving in - this time we'll take that literally.
As soon as the teacher announced it was time for free swim I ran to the high dive and was third in line. I watched the first kid scoot up the ladder, run to the end of the board, then jump off. The second kid did much the same. Now it was my turn so up the ladder I went 17 feet into free space with the board under my feet and a guard rail on either side of me then accidentally glanced down - Uh oh... I wasn't ready for that. Suddenly I froze in terror atop what now appeared to be an arial diving platform ready to stare death in the eyes and challenge fate itself by leaping into what would be a free fall into some abyss, well actually, not me, I was in a state of panic.
As I stood there frozen high in the air I felt the muscles spasm begin. My arms and legs were cramping and I could barely move. I somehow managed to sit down as the next kids in line began to yell at me to jump so they could have their turn. Soon the rest of the class was looking at me and then of course the teacher was also watching the scene unfold. The group of regular folks was quickly becoming an out of control mob yelling at me and taunting me. I had manged to lay face down frozen with terror as the mob enjoyed the show and the teacher became more and more angry. I had no way out, my mind racing and screaming at an unresponsive body. I'd just have to wait it out until I died of thirst or starvation and my lifeless body would finally fall apathetically to the hard tile floor. There was nothing else I was able to do.
Finally class time ended and the teacher sent the rest of the class to the showers and locker room to get to their next classes on time. The teacher had calmed down and was trying to find a solution that didn't involve calling in the fire department. He began speaking gently to me telling me to close my eyes and just breath. I did this and a slight bit of the terror began to dissipate. The teacher kept talking in a calm voice and I began to relax a little more. He had me open my eyes but to look only at the board just inches in from of my nose. His plan was working and he gradually eased the muscle spasms to the point that I was able to move then got me down the ladder. Now I was back on solid ground and while terribly shaken by the ordeal, was able to move on.
By the next day the school had pretty much forgotten my award winning show and moved on to find new and different things to tease me and others about but the time for that dreaded afternoon gym class was quickly approaching. What was going to happen was nothing short of a major surprise to me and the rest of the class including the teacher. As soon as I passed through the door and into the pool area I found myself running to the high dive. Normally we were required to form a line and stand at attention while role call was taken and any disobedience to this rule would result in harsh punishment, but here I was running to the very thing that had, just the day before, destroyed me without mercy. It was if something had taken over me as I ran up that 17 feet of ladder, onto the diving board itself, and then right off the end and into the water below. I hadn't thought about what was going on and swam to the surface to accept whatever punishment awaited me. But what a surprise was to come.
As my head broke the surface of the water and went up into the air I saw and heard the entire class including the teacher applauding me and shouting words of praise and admiration. I really hadn't realized what I'd done until this very moment and suddenly felt incredibly good about myself and the world. I swam to the side of the pool, climbed out, and got into line. The applause quickly died down and class went on as usual while I took in what had happened. What a day - my worst nightmare became a harmless memory to be tucked away in some rarely visited place in time and space. It still feels good.
So on we go...
I suppose there's a moral here but you can decide what to do with it. For me it's a memory of a time not really so long ago that has woven itself into this story I call my life. I have no idea why we participate in this great world of interaction with each other as we strive to be the best person we can possibly be and ought never judge another as we all work to piece these events together in some coherent way until we finally leave this place to whatever is next.
Much love, big hugs, and blessings to all from The Sweet Hippie Chick.
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