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Welcome To UCC – Simi Valley
Or
How I came to call this wonderful
church my new home
Hi. My name is Jamie. I’m that little odd ball that just loves to hug people and maybe at times can be just a bit overly affectionate. I do try to tone it down, but if you knew my history I think you’d understand (you can always read my book if you’re interested in how I got to be that way, but really, it’s not important). Amazingly, I don’t seem to have scared anybody off, and what’s more amazing is that I’ve been getting a whole lot of hugs back. Do you have a few minutes? There’s something I’d like to share.
Having been raised Catholic and also having spent
much of my adult life searching for answers to this great miracle, this mystery
we call life, my education left me with more questions than explanations.
What’s more, not only my Catholic upbringing but every Christian group I’d
gotten involved with convinced me that I was pretty much doomed to an eternity
of torment beyond my imagination, and I can imagine some pretty bad stuff.
Damnation seemed to be the only afterlife that someone like me could look
forward to. Not what I considered a very bright future. You see, not only was
my questioning of this faith bad enough, but my most sincere sense of who I am
was sure to be a one-way ticket to that awful place even though this is the way
I was created. Oh dear, I just can’t believe that a loving god could be so
cruel. A god that had had an eternity to figure things out expected me with my
limited abilities to spend maybe 80 years searching for answers then put all of
my chips on a single number on some cosmic roulette wheel, bet the farm on my
answer and hope for the best. The picture of an evil Santa Clause that watched
you go to the bathroom was the image that I had in my mind. There just had to
be more to the story, more to this life and afterlife than I’d been told.
So I searched
and studied and at some point discovered the Buddhist philosophy which actually
blended well with my basic Christian faith. Now I just needed to find others to
worship with and grow spiritually while also having teachers to guide my intellectual
understanding. Both are important.
I was discovering many churches that claimed all are
loved, all are welcome. Typically the ministers and others in the group were
very happy to see my enthusiasm and encouraged me to attend things like Bible
study which I was all too happy to do. Unfortunately when I started asking
questions they would quickly become annoyed. I said things like maybe Judas
wasn’t really such a bad guy, he was after all very good pals with the one they
called rabbi or savior. Since it was known even before Judas was born what he
would do and since he was the rabbi’s best friend, maybe - just maybe, Judas
was in on a secret, the secret was a clandestine plan to get this rabbi
arrested and fulfill prophesy. Judas had no idea of the full consequences but
being a loyal friend went along with it. You know the rest of that story. I
also questioned things like when Jesus went alone into the dessert, the story
is that he was tempted by the devil. My issue was that if Jesus was alone and
didn’t really share these experiences, who was there to tell the story? There
were these and many more questions I had, and that wasn’t even getting to the
big stuff yet. I would see stones being put on a pile near my car or maybe
WD-40 being sprayed on what looked like thumb screws and decided it was best
not to return.
On I went searching for answers to questions nobody
seemed to have the answers to. I would hear or read terrible stories of gays,
lesbians, or transgenders being ostracized and/or humiliated never to be
allowed to say that this is the flower I was meant to be and perhaps there was
a wonderful creator that just loved all of the infinite number of permutations
and combinations being manifested – like a great artist painting a beautiful
universe or maybe a composer inventing new notes to be played in the most exquisite
symphony of life. No, this heresy would not be tolerated in their church – no
way was that going to happen.
Then I heard about a church that supposedly really
was open to everyone. We’ll see about that! I had some time on a Sunday morning
so I decided to check this place out, UCC – Simi Valley was the name. Sounds
pretty conservative to me, but what the heck, I’ll give them a chance.
I walked in and was warmly greeted and given a
folder with information and a pot holder, pretty nice. I’d recognized this guy
that was greeting people from the FFLUID meeting I’d attended, hmm. He
remembered me too and seemed genuinely happy that I stopped in. Could there
really be some truth to the line that everyone was welcome? All of the folks I
was meeting did seem very friendly and all, but I’d been fooled before. I might
be some small town kid from the Midwest and I may be some dumb but I’m not
plumb dumb, they’ll have to do much better than that to convince me.
Okay, sitting down in the back row near the door
just in case this was some kind of a trap, I relaxed a little as the service
began. A well-dressed gentleman stood up in front of the congregation, he
appeared rather conservative and could easily fit the part of a preacher. He
seemed to have a kind way about himself and started the service saying,
“Whoever you are, wherever you are on life’s journey, you’re welcome here.” I
was becoming rather moved but quickly caught myself, I’d heard lines like this
before and it’ll take more than talk to convince me, past experience had taught
me to be skeptical, still one should always keep an open mind. Everyone seemed
genuinely nice and I’d heard someone say something about cookies and coffee
after the service. I wonder if they’ll have chocolate chip, ooooo, I love
cookies.
Okay, I got through the service and really enjoyed
it. In fact, that guy that I’d met at the FFLUID meeting was some kind of
somebody that preached here. He was quite funny and very intelligent. My gosh,
during his sermon (or whatever it’s called) he told a story about an experience
he’d had as a gay man and explained how it related to faith. Not a rotten
tomato was hurled at him. He wasn’t escorted out of the church. Maybe there is
something about this place being open – but they hadn’t met the whole me yet.
I liked the service and stuck around, bribe me with
a cookie and I’m helpless to resist. Oh and there were chocolate brownies! Well
this is looking pretty good so far. I decided to get to know a few folks a
little better. Now it’s time to see what this place is really about.
I started with the main guy that did most of the
service, the guy that looked like he could be a preacher. “So you accept
anybody, huh? Well I have a rather quirky view of Christianity, it’s kind of my
own brand. I call it Zen – Christianity.” Without batting an eye he replied,
“Yes, I have some rather quirky views too. Here at our church we use the Bible
for guidance, not as hard fact.” I think my lips were moving but no words were
coming out. That was too easy, time for the big guns.
There were a man and woman speaking to a few other
people, I think the woman was the one playing the piano at the service, it was
rather nice to hear something other than the standard revival rock bands I’d
heard at other churches, this was actually rather soothing and I guess you’d
say contemplative and I liked it. I walked up to the little group and started
talking, they asked my name. I told them my preferred name is Jamie and that
was what I like to be called. That’s easy enough, it is a rather androgynous
name after all, but I had to find out if I could really be myself, gay is one
thing but… here goes. After a bit more conversation I announced that I’m
transgender and had just recently started hormone replacement therapy, actually
for the second time now. I went on to explain that when I left Wisconsin I was
living in my preferred gender as female. There wasn’t even an uncomfortable
moment of silence. Someone asked, “Oh maybe you know some of our other
members…” What? I’m not the first? This can’t be happening, maybe they didn’t hear
me correctly. After a brief pause and allowing the conversation to move on a
bit, I tried again, “yes, I’m male to female transgender. I’ve only been back
on hormones for a couple of weeks now, but give it time. It’s a rather slow process.”
Okay now there was no doubt they heard it. I wondered what the reaction would
be. Here it comes, “Do you like gardening? If you decide to come back maybe
you’d like to help in the garden.” I was taken aback! No big surprise or
uncomfortable silence. No comments like, “That’s fine but keep it too yourself.
Don’t start coming here wearing makeup and blah blah blah.”
The conversation went on from there. I was really
getting to like this place. Not a single demand that I be baptized. No groups
forming to pray for my blackened soul. Could it really be that I’d found a
place of worship that actually does want to join together to experience the
spirit in higher realms? Well you know I had to be certain, this could after
all be some sort of once a year thing they do to lure in unsuspecting folks
like me then in one Ninja-like move throw the net of so-called salvation over
me and demand I repent. I would have to come back to find out. But I really
think I’m going to like this place.
Well I had to be just a little tongue in cheek at
times to keep things moving, I also had to ad lib a bit and take some liberties
with the facts but it is all based on a very true story which is my experience
here at UCC – Simi Valley. A story still unfolding since I did come back and
have kept on coming back because of the wonderful people I’m meeting along with
enjoying new friendships and activities. I never thought I’d find a church with
folks like you all, or I really should say, all of us. I know I do tend to
ramble on at times but I really can’t get over what a wonderful experience this
is even as I have settled into to a regular routine of worship and socializing.
Well I look forward to many good times ahead. Hugs and blessing to all.
A Sanctuary Church
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UCC – Simi Valley
A Sanctuary Church
Sanctuary: noun
/saNGk(t)SHə werē/ - a place of refuge or safety.
Church: noun
/CHərCH a building used for public Christian worship.
We all know that UCC – Simi Valley is a Sanctuary
Church, it is our special place after all. Certainly I can go along with the
Google definition of it being a place of refuge or safety as do so many others,
some to a very impressive degree. I learned about the concept of “Sanctuary” as
a child going to a Catholic grade school but in my mind “Sanctuary” brings up a
vision of Quasimodo, The Hunchback Of Notre Dame, fighting with the townspeople
in Paris during the dark ages. Quasimodo was of course in a life or death
struggle for his humanity. Notre Dame is certainly a well-known cathedral.
Google Dictionary also defines “cathedral” as a church. I may not have a
hunchback but as so many others, probably everyone really, also knows the pain
and fear of being exiled from a community or “church”. It’s Google’s definition
of “church” that I disagree with.
To me, UCC – Simi Valley, is certainly a refuge but
as a church I would say it’s something far more amorphic and much harder to
define because what we are calling our “church” is so much more than a building
for Christians. The fact is that belief in Christianity, or any religion or philosophy,
is not a requirement here. UCC – Simi Valley, rather than being a “church” is
to me a gathering place for some of the most wonderful souls I’ve ever known
and have come to love. Since all of my family has passed away (okay, I have an
older sister but she hasn’t seemed to want to acknowledge that for some years
now). So with no genetic family left I feel I’ve been both adopted by and have
adopted UCC as a family in spirit. I know that might sound a bit enthusiastic
and some may be saying, “Well you know this is Jamie who tends to be a bit
over-emotional. It’s probably just the hormones talking.” The hormones may be
talking but they’re saying other things. No, how I feel about the people of UCC
is me talking.
The way I see it is that while I may not have had
wounds that needed bandages, I have been given cookies and brownies and really
it takes little more than that to win my heart. But my heart has been won over
in a big way by the kindness and openness of the people that make this a real Sanctuary Church. I’m just so happy
to be a part of this family now and am always encouraging friends to come
visit. Many have endured such awful treatment while wanting nothing more than
to worship their god or gods the way they see fit and to express themselves as
they know is right, many are Christians. All are tired of being told that
there’s a loving God that created them and just can’t wait for the chance to
damn them to hell for shining the very light they were given. It’s hard to
convince many because of the deep scars and wounds they carry. I’ll keep trying
though. UCC - Simi Valley really is a place where, “Whoever you are, wherever
you are on life’s journey, you’re welcome here.” Yes I’m now shining my little
light again. Many many hugs and blessings to all.
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