Pablo Picasso said, "The meaning of life is to
find your gift. The purpose of life is to give it away." I've always liked
that quote and it seems a good way to start today's post. I was doing some
editing on my latest book yesterday. Even though it's already been published
and is being circulated on kindle there were a couple of little things that my proof
reader missed. The nice thing about kindle is that changes can always be made
if need be. I'm ready to publish the paperback but am still waiting for the
cover to be completed. Part 2 has a real good start but finding the time to
work on it is getting a little difficult. Well shining my little light to the
world through these books and this blog feels to be the thing for me to do. It
may be a lot of work but it's a labor of love. In This Little Light Of Mine I
talk about a bunch of strange experiences and encounters that I've been a part of.
Part 2 continues the adventure but moves from Milwaukee to California.
In a couple of chapters of the first book I talk about losing people
close to me in terribly tragic ways. It was difficult to write about those
things and even more heart wrenching to go back and relive them over and
over while editing. I'm very often haunted by the thought that my life would likely be very different,
as would the lives of others, if I had on those two occasions just followed
what my heart was telling me. I understand that I'm not
responsible for what happened but just knowing that my response had such a
dramatic effect on the events that followed really hurts. It's so important to
listen to what our heart tells us. Well in any case, I'm grateful for what I've
been blessed with. I had to laugh one day when at an appointment with my
physician. I was telling him about some of the things I’ve experienced and now
write about. When the appointment was finished and we were walking towards the
front desk, he stopped, turned towards me and said, “You know it’s amazing
that you’ve turned out so well adjusted.” What can I say, he is a doctor after
all and I agree with his diagnosis, well most of the time…
Yesterday was a nice day. It started with meeting
Joan at the church to begin getting ready for this weekend’s plant sale fund
raising event. Working in the garden, being involved in things like the plant
sale and community dinner, and so many other activities I’m involved in at my
church are so rewarding – more like “labors of love” than like work. Last night
I attended a group on something called nonviolent communication. It was really
good and many of my friends were there. I think everybody there would be
defined as “friend” but some I’m closer to and spend more time with than
others. Joan and her husband John were there, they are such nice people, talented,
well educated, and so much more than “book smart”. Of course Curtis was there
too. I like Curtis so much. Maybe it’s because he’s close to my age and is very
openly gay so we have a lot of things to talk about. He’s nearly an ordained
minister and is so smart and funny. He has an incredible knowledge of theology
and I have a deep interest in that. Everybody loves Curtis. He and I have had
many long conversations together. I'm so lucky to have such wonderful friends.
So about last night’s group. It was very
interesting but a couple of things caught me off guard. I’ve been feeling
a bit down lately and while everyone else was sitting together in the first row
that curved around the speaker, I felt compelled to sit back a row and a little off to
myself. I was encouraged to move closer and more into the group but just
couldn’t. In one part we were asked to pick out between one and three cards
that had been scattered on the floor. Each card had a word printed on it
describing an emotion. I chose “Scared”, “Lonely”, and “Grateful”. But then we
were asked to join up with someone to express how we felt about our choice of
word-cards. Uh oh, I wasn’t ready for that. A nice woman came and sat next to
me. I asked her to go first because I just couldn’t discuss my cards. It went
well as I listened to her. When it was my turn I still couldn’t do it. She asked
me why and the best I could do was show the card that said “Scared”. It’s just
too hard to open up about these things. I feel welcome and accepted by everyone
I know but there’s issues lurking inside that I doubt anyone would guess. Oh
well, what are you going to do? Curtis had sat sort of next to me between the
first row where everyone else was and the next row that I was sitting in. I was
happy that he did. We ended up talking quite a bit. I really like him.
Today is laundry day and tonight I’m meeting Joan
and others to get a few more things together for the plant sale. It’s also my
friend Jeanne’s birthday and she’s having a sort of get-together at a nice
bar/pizza place that will have live music. I want to go but am so short on
money again this month. I can’t afford to do a lot but I’d really like to get
to this. We’ll see.
Let me finish today’s post with what seems to be becoming
my little catch phrase. It’s not much but here we go…
Hugs and blessings to all.
Jamie
No comments:
Post a Comment